I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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