what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
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Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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