I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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