I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
