Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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