Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I am never drinking with the goths again.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
