I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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