I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
