shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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