dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
