And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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