put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I checked into jail on foursquare
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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