This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
