yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
