dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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