I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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