"it" just moved
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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