We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
