He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
