u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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