What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
do nipples grow back?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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