Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
