so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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