Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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