After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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