so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize