I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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