You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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