wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
