we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
