I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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