Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
