Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
