if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
do nipples grow back?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
