I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
