I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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