Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
