Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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