he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
