My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
