some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
