dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
