This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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