so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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