i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
