I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
