Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
