I'd wear matching sweaters with you
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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