TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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