just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Randomize
