don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
