just come out here and I will go home with you...
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
