Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
BRING THE BAGELS
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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