just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
