they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
