After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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