it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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