Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
