I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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